30 January 2014

Eurovision 2014: Belarus: Cheesecake

Even though there was a tie in the public and jury votes at the 2014 Belarus Eurovision National final, the jury vote prevailed and TEO will represent the nation with Cheesecake in Copenhagen.


Every now and again, the Eurovision Song Contest throws up a really good track. Unfortunately, Cheesecake is not one of them.

I really wanted to say something uplifting about the Belorussian entry, but quite honestly, it has no redeeming features. Quite obviously, the visuals are a blatant rip-off of the Robin Thicke hit, Blurred Lines and, try as hard as they might, the video comes across as a cheap and tacky copy. Some might say that this was the intention. Evidently, Belorussian humour must have passed me by.

What did make me laugh was the performance of this song at the National Final. TEO (aka Yuriy Vaschuk) reminded me of a drunk uncle at a wedding reception, staggering around the stage trying out his best Robin Thicke moves. Meanwhile, three backing singers hold up signs to mimic hashtags/visuals that look as if they were made by preschoolers in a craft class the previous day.

I think they may have helped him with the lyrics, too. Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray are thrown into a verse that doesn't scan, just for the hell of it. But, apparently, the most important element of the song is his efforts to escape his girlfriend who keeps calling him her 'cheesecake'. He'll even resort to the use of Google Maps to evade her company. After hearing this, none of us will need an atlas - running for the hills is the only option.

Okay, it's catchy - but so is the flu.

It's likely to qualify to the Final and then garner a few votes from people who should know better.

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